Sunday 30 August 2009

P2K - The Decade in Music (top 500 singles)



Price point: Free (brought to you by Haagen-Dazs, because 'selling out' is not a term that belongs to this decade)

Context: Oh pitchfork, how you've changed. How I miss the days when you'd play around with your shoddy html templates, changing the colour scheme every six months or so. It was a simpler time, when a band like 12 rods could lay claim to the holy grail of music criticism, a 10.0 review (A review which has, along with the original 'top 100 albums of the 90s, mysteriously disappeared from the pitchfork website, because nothing says indie! like a Stalinist purge). Now Pitchfork is arguably the most influential musical publication in the world, with their own TV channel and music festival. A range of scented candles is but weeks away.

Before: A year end (or in this case, decade encompassing) feature from Pitchfork is essentially the michelin guide for music. Something to get worked up about in between repeats of CSI and CSI:Miami


First impressions: In keeping with their post 2004 'We like pop music! really!' aesthetic, there are bound to be a few choices that 'shock' (perhaps akin to licking a not yet dead batter). Also, there's always the chance that Kanye West will rent a fleet of airships to express his disappointment if he doesn't capture spots 1 through 499.

During: Sadly, I quickly realize that my generation !Y! ADD addled brain doesn't really care about tracks 500-101. A mix of well loved singles and staff favourite album tracks, you're sure to ignore them all equally as you scroll down as quickly as possible to get to the top 100.

After: The top 20 reads like a poster for your city's ubiquitous 'indie' night, coming soon to a dank but not too seedy bar near you: ARCADE FIRE | YYY's | OUTKAST | RADIOHEAD | LCD SOUNDSYSTEM | DAFT PUNK. Will the fat DJ ignore your repeated not ironic because you're drunk requests to play 'You're the best'? Almost definitely!

Total Score: 5.5/10

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